Your value isn’t in being indispensable It’s in being intentional
Even the strongest leaders can find themselves stuck in the trap of being “indispensable.”
Dear Substack Reader, Happy Friday!
Even the strongest leaders can find themselves stuck in the trap of being “indispensable.”
This essay explores what happens when control creeps in, and how real leadership often begins at the moment we choose to trust — others, the process, and ourselves.
If you’ve ever wondered whether stepping back would mean losing your grip… this one’s for you.
Main takeaway from this newsletter
The more senior your role becomes, the less your value is tied to involvement — and the more it’s tied to discernment.
Being everywhere might feel safe. But being intentional is where true leadership lives.
Your value isn’t in being indispensable, It’s in being intentional
A few weeks ago, I was coaching a senior executive — high-performing, widely respected, deeply operational.
He was navigating what many leaders face but rarely name out loud:
The creeping sense of being left out of certain decisions. Not ignored, necessarily — just not needed in the way he was used to.
And it bothered him.
Not in an obvious, ego-driven way — he wasn’t looking for credit. But he noticed the emotional spikes: the tightness in his chest when his input wasn’t requested, the silent questioning after meetings that didn’t require him, the urge to step back into spaces he had once delegated.
He asked me, “Is this a sign I’m losing control of the business?”
I asked him a different question:
“What would it mean if your team could run more without you — not in spite of you, but because of you?”
When Trust Is Low, Control Creeps In
We dug into it together. What he realized was powerful.
For years, his sense of value had been tethered to being the one people relied on — the fixer, the closer, the calm in the chaos.
That had served him well. It still had its place.
But now, it was also getting in the way.
Because when trust is shaky — trust in others, trust in systems, sometimes even trust in yourself — control starts to feel like clarity.
But it’s not.
It’s usually reactivity wearing a leadership mask.
The Hidden Cost of Being Indispensable
There’s a quiet risk when a leader stays too central for too long.
Yes, it can feel productive. Necessary, even. But over time:
Decisions slow down, because everything flows through you.
Your team stops stretching, because they’re trained to wait.
High performers disengage, because there’s no room to grow.
And the business hits a ceiling — not because it lacks capability, but because it’s still orbiting around you.
The hardest part?
Most leaders don’t notice this happening until it’s already costing them momentum.
A Better Question
So we reframed his role, not in terms of presence, but of precision.
He began asking:
Where does the business need my insight — not my oversight?
What calls truly require my judgment, and which ones just require me to let go?
Where am I showing up to be helpful, but really just proving my value?
He started stepping back in a different way — not checking out, but dialing in where it mattered.
Not reacting to gaps, but defining where his time had the most leverage.
The result?
More space for his senior team to lead.
More clarity on when to step in.
And a version of himself that felt more like a CEO — less like an emergency responder.
Leading with Trust Isn’t Soft. It’s Strategic.
If you’re a founder, CEO, or senior exec — chances are, part of your success has been built on being essential.
But staying there too long has a cost.
Strategic leadership isn’t about being everywhere.
It’s about being where it counts.
With clarity, not control.
Letting go isn’t weakness.
It’s how you scale.
Something to Reflect On
If any of this resonates, ask yourself:
Where are you still holding on — not because it’s needed, but because it feels familiar?
And what might become possible if you let go — just a little?
And if the answer feels uncomfortable, that’s okay.
That’s the invitation.
You’re not losing your grip. You’re evolving.
Let it be uncomfortable.
Let it be freeing.
📚 If this resonates, here are a few resources:
Book: The Motive by Patrick Lencioni
A sharp, concise read on the real reasons people lead — and how shifting from “being essential” to “building capability” changes everything.
Podcast: The Knowledge Project – Jim Collins episode
An excellent listen on scaling, sustainability, and redefining leadership value.
📣 Connect With Me
If you have any thoughts, questions, or insights you’d like to share, please feel free to reach out to me on LinkedIn or reply directly to this email. I’d love to hear from you! Feel free to go check my website if you are interested for us to partner together.
🙏 Thank you for spending part of your week with us. Stay strong, keep leading, keep inspiring, and fully embrace the roller coaster of leadership.
Warm regards,
Vanessa